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    Femeia La 30 De Ani Pdf

    Kathryn este căsătorită de peste 24 de ani cu Bill Baxter. Ei au patru El a zis, ' Fiica, Eu am chemat această femeie la 30 de ani să predice. Cuvântul Meu si. balzac and pdf. Balzac is a FiÈ™ | Lang Wiki | FANDOM. "Cognitive Mapping" by Fredric Jameson [pdf] - rainer rilling. Femeile şi bărbaţii trăiesc multe experienţe diferite, alături de experienţele c o m u n e. A d e s e a In R o m â n i a, abia în anii '30 ai secolului X X. Calypso.

    Tusho Mimi Pop rated it liked it Feb 08, Would you like us to take another look at this review? Inima-i un vanator singuratic. Editura Polirom Publication date: Due to his keen observation of fine detail and unfiltered representation of society, Balzac is regarded as one of the founders of realism in European literature. Return to Book Page. How to write a great review. Dana rated it liked it Jun 27, Femeia la bslzac de aniplease sign up.

    For this part of the workforce, returning to the country of origin is subject to obtaining a regular administrative status, a residence permit, but not converted in circular migrations. Only in some cases do migrants return to visit their family in their country of origin, for a few months, but in this case, it is not possible to speak of real circular migration as, on their return to Piana del Sele, people usually have to start by looking for a new company for employment, with no stable reinstatement programs to which they can refer.

    This is also the case of the workforce coming from countries belonging to the European Union, locally coinciding with Romanian nationals, who come back to their country of origin for short periods. As highlighted in some interviews with agricultural employers, the flows decrees, based on the quota system, have been used over time to regularize some of the foreign workers: The fact that the flows decrees are usually used to regularize, albeit for a long time, those who are already in Italy can be demonstrated even formally, verifying the fact that firms use nominal applications The constant presence in the enclave of a workforce that is willing to be employed has contributed, together with the other institutional, regulatory and organizational factors identified Santoro, , to a social regulation of the workforce based not on circular migration programs but on grey labour and the management of the condition of expulsion and, in some cases, the administrative irregularity of non-EU migrants.

    The local agricultural labour market has never lacked a workforce and therefore does not require the implementation of circular migration programs. The regulation of the workforce is based on the combination of different social forms, which, in summary, concern four factors. The first relates to the fact that migrant workers in agriculture are already present on the territory and are bound to this sector of the labour market because it is difficult for them to deal with other different sectors.

    The second factor concerns the organization of production, which, ranging from seasonal to non-seasonal crops, extends throughout the year, constantly requiring a workforce, albeit with variable performance over a period of time based on production needs.

    The third factor is the spread of grey or completely irregular labour called black labour in Italian , favoured by the absence of institutional controls but also by the socially defined difficulty of denouncing employers as this can carry difficulties to accede to new jobs on different farms.

    They are less interested in bureaucratic regulatory tools that can slow the process of recruiting workers; in some cases, the just-in-time demand requires them hiring workers from one day to another, so they are more prone to follow more predictable logic such as the informal intermediation system of caporali or direct relationships with the workforce. In summary, social regulation to access the agricultural labour market in Piana del Sele is achieved through a varied combination of formal and informal factors and relations, which mainly concern the articulation of normative provisions introducing different administrative statuses, informal intermediation, the presence of labourers on the territory, and the systematic organization of grey work patterns.

    The Spanish and the Italian States share the same European supranational regulation and have defined seasonal permits that allow the creation of programs to import workers from third countries. However, what determines the organization, or lack thereof, of circular migration programs is the relationship between labour demand and supply and, more broadly, the relationship between capital and work in each specific enclave.

    The lack of available workers has driven producers and the state to try to import work by organizing their mobility, but if there is already an actively and steadily reproducible local reserve army, then business interests are met, reducing interest towards the definition of specific recruitment programs.

    The latter exists to the extent that they are needed to meet the needs of farms: Huelva, Lleida and Piana del Sele are clear examples of this functioning. Whereas in the spanish cases there was a traditional lack of labour, this did not happen the latter. The traditional forms of recruitment that have been present for at least a century in southern Italy, such as the caporalato, have adapted themselves to the changes required by the new forms of production, but the practice of informal intermediation has always been a guarantee for producers, who have never worried about organizing programs to recruit workers in origin.

    In addition, the caporalato, from the point of view of its utility to growers, has remained a functioning system, allowing just-in-time availability of labour and thereby maximizing the benefits of each campaign.

    Another important factor in identifying the propulsive factors of programs is the type of production that prevails in the specific enclaves. Gordo et al explain that this factor is decisive for the program because, unlike the areas where there is work year-round, Huelva needs 60, workers during a maximum period of four months, being extremely dependent on a travelling workforce not permanently established in the territory.

    It is the same for Lleida, where 9, workers are required for working a maximum of four months. The program makes it possible to have a workforce that is not available in the enclave, for a period when it is needed.

    In Piana del Sele, however, the most common crop, arugula, can be produced throughout the year under greenhouses. The deseasonalization of production has reduced uncertainty about the availability of labour for local employers, who do not have to support other mechanisms, such as recruitment programs, to ensure the presence of workers when it is needed.

    In this sense, predictability is a central element. In Piana del Sele, predictability is obtained through the combination of different factors, related to the legal architecture of the national migration policy, which guarantees the availability of irregulars in the country; to the deseasonalization of production, which allows settling workers on the territory; and the existence of the caporalato, which connects a portion of workers and employers, despite the dispersal of farms on a vast rural area.

    In addition, in Italy, two important factors can be identified to disincentive the creation of recruitment programs. On the one hand, the traditional extension of informal practices in the agricultural sector Colloca and Corrado, and the absence of effective State controls allow employers to reproduce this logic.

    On the other hand, the rigid procedure to obtain seasonal permits linked to the available quotas of the flows decrees has reduced, especially up to —, the chances of employing workforce in line with production needs Amnesty International, , which has not helped in converting the sector into a more formalized one.

    How are migrant people affected by these models? This means that, even if irregulars have an important limitation on their rights, they are not forced to work for the same farm and can develop a multitude of strategies that are prohibited for migrants involved in the programs. It is true that these can run away and become irregulars, but this possibility is difficult because of deportations, guaranteed by bilateral agreements, and the strict control of their mobility managed by the State.

    Do these considerations converge to mean that irregular migrants in Piana del Sele may exercise more agency and autonomy than those who are hired through the program of Lleida and Huelva? In fact, even irregular people depend on firms to be regularized, confirming that no model is better than another from the point of view of migrant workers, as strategies are adopted in a differentiated way according to the local and social structure.

    In the first two cases, the economic crisis revealed the difficulty of maintaining a model that legally imports workers in a context of unemployment and mass precariousness. Programs have become virtually irrelevant in recent years, and migrants outside of them, such as undocumented people and Eastern Europeans, have been again prioritized. In Piana del Sele, the situation is even clearer: The observation of these three cases has allowed us to conclude that circularity depends on many factors, but above all, it depends on the interests of local growers.

    In the case of Piana del Sele, businesses never requested the implementation of such programs, and therefore they do not exist.

    Food production will not stop. New frontiers of labour will appear, and farm employers will develop new mechanisms to ensure the availability of cheap workers. It is not the existence or absence of recruitment programs that will determine the survival of the agricultural sector in Spain or Italy. Its centrality in reproducing the accumulation process is so important Moore, that it cannot be stopped by limitations of the labour supply.

    In the current power relations, the migrant reserve army will continue to maintain cheap food production in Europe with or without programs.

    Europe already experienced a first period of recruitment programs between the end of World War II and the s. Stephen Castles identified their death and then their resurrection at the beginning of the XXIst century. Are we now facing the end of this second period? Are we at the beginning of a new phase?

    These questions represent opportunities for future research in this study area. Avallone, G. Berlan, J. Una California para Europa? Bonnano, A. Caruso, F. A Resurrection? Colloca, C. Corrado, A. Ferraris, V. Gertel, J. Gordo, M. Gualda, E. Hellio, E. A, Gordo, M. Molinero-Gerbeau, Y. Moore, J. Santoro, E. Sayad, A. Sciortino, G.


    Veira, A. Cre terea economiilor i trecerea la neoliberalism au transformat structural diferitele segmente productive, inclusiv sectorul agricol care a adoptat progresiv modelul industrial Californian.

    The most significant factors are the dynamics of values in society, the model of parental family and socio-demographic situation in the country.

    The style of behavior in a family, sexual behavior, and marital status of youth is not isolated; it largely determines the demographic structure of the whole family, prospects of its development, the nature of the tasks and the problems, which it has to solve. Therefore, a study of trends in the development of marriage and family value orientations of youth, as well as the problems of family socialization relate to multiple areas of sociology: They are important to study not only in Russia, but also in world practice.

    Family values are the beliefs that contribute to creative and constructive activities of the family and its members, not inconsistent with the norms of society, based on love, mutual understanding, cooperation, and kindness.

    It is the conscious and conscientious performance of marital and parental duty, the responsibility for Adresele de contact ale autorilor: Elena N. Pankova, Alena.

    Let us discuss different theories of family values. Structural and functional theory helps to classify family values based on social functions performed by the family: The conflict theory considers family values as a source of conflict interaction in the family, while conflicts of family values are a natural part of family life.

    The constructive function of conflicts of family values is that they can become a powerful source of development of the individual and the group. For the person, these consequences can be expressed in achieving peace of mind, tranquility, increasing the meaningfulness of life, appearance of a new consciousness.

    Thanks to the conflict of values, the new goals, norms, and rules may appear in the family. Constructive family values include: The destructive function of conflicts of family values is that at the level of the individual it can lead to a growing sense of social and psychological discomfort. There is a shift from the motive to the goal: At the level of intrafamiliar functioning, the destructive function of the conflict of family values can be manifested in the violation of the information exchange, the system of interrelations, weakening the unity of the family, reducing its cohesion, inability to withstand difficulties.

    Non-constructive family values include: Ule and Kuhar, The system approach treats family values as a relationship of three groups of values: A special binding role among other family values is played by children who are the main value of the family; 3 values of kinship embrace: In the attitudes and minds of young people, the family values, on the one hand, summarize the social experience of past and present, and on the other hand — create a prototype of the future family, predict the indicators of demographic behavior and development in the future.

    Family values of young people are forming not spontaneously, but under the influence of many factors Figure 1.

    Figure 1 Factors influencing the formation of family values in youth There are several scientific theories about the impact of the social situation on the family values of young people: According to this concept, the formation of family values in young people occurs in the conflict between the individual and social values, with the inevitable impact of the social situation; 2 the modernization approach asserts that there is a transformation of the family values of young people within the change from the traditional type of family to the modern one, and as a whole it has a positive orientation.

    Current trends in the family values of young people respond to the influence of the social situation and should not be interpreted unambiguously as a deviation from the norm.

    They are rather signs of significant and irreversible evolutionary shifts in the family institution itself; 3 the concept of dependence. According to this concept, young people are in a more difficult financial situation; they need state and parental support; they usually do not have housing; and they have increased requests for spiritual development.

    The youth is in the midst of current socio-demographic reality of serving a significant factor in the formation of family value orientations, behaviors and life priorities of the young generation. The influence of socio-demographic situation on family values of young people manifests firstly in increasing the age of marriage.

    Data indicate that from to , the age of marriage increased for men from Fourthly, among young people, there is a setting for late delivery Kurakina, Fifthly, the problematic social situation negatively affects the level of mortality among young people.

    The department of social work N. The problem of the study was to identify the impact of current socio- demographic situation in Russia on the formation of family values of youth, and the role of social work in this process. The purpose of the study was to explore the characteristics of the impact of current socio-demographic situation in Russia on the formation of family values of young people, and to highlight the perspectives and recommendations of preparation of youth for marriage and family life in the aspect of social work areas.

    The degree of scientific knowledge of the topic and the problems of research. Multidimensional and multidisciplinary nature of the impact of current socio- demographic situation in Russia on the formation of family values of youth, and the role of social work in this process determine the variety of used scientific sources.

    Thus, the impact of current socio-demographic situation in Russia on the modern youth got its coverage in the writings of M. Gorshkov Gorshkov, , Yu. Zubok Zubok, , M. Ivliev Ivliev, , G. Klimantova Klimantova, , E. Kurakina Kurakina, , E. Maslukova Masliukova, , G. Fomchenkova Fomchenkova, , E. Shcherbakova Scherbakova, , and others. The formation of family values and orientations of young people occurs in the context of the transformation of the family institution.

    The study reveals the depth of contradictions in modern family- marriage sphere of society, manifested both in crisis and in evolutionary trends of development of family values and relations.

    The following works should be noted: Antonov Antonov, , T. Afanasyeva Afanasieva, , N. Divitsyna Divitsyna, , M. Matskovsky Matskovsky, , L. Savinov Savinov, and others. According to some authors, the issues of family manners, sexual behavior, and marital status of youth are not isolated and largely determine the demographic structure of the whole family, prospects of its development, the nature of tasks and problems that it has to solve.

    We should note the works of the following scholars: Giddens Giddens, , V. Lisowsky Lisovsky, , V. Sysenko Sysenko, and others. The works of these scientists form the scientific reference for further conceptualization and development of topical problems in the field of sociology of youth.

    Socio-demographic situation actualizes the importance of conducting social work with young people, in order to promote constructive family values. The role of social worker in the formation of family values of young people is particularly significant when parents are unable to prepare young people constructively for marriage and family life. Even if the experience of family life of parents and family values are positive for children, the help of social worker may not be superfluous.

    It will help to complement and reinforce the positive aspects of premarital preparation from the point of view of objective reality and scientific-research positions of such authors as S. Grigoriev Grigoriev, , N. Basov Basov, , E. Kholostova Kholostova, , T.

    Solovyova Solovyova, and others. It should be noted that there is a disagreement among scholars concerning the place of family values in the value system of youth. A number of studies on youth and its priorities demonstrate a sufficiently high value of family in the value system of young Russians. The researchers also talk about the paradoxes in the value consciousness of the Russian youth as the high value of family in the youth environment combines with the admissibility of prostitution, approval of physical intimacy for a fee, arranged marriages, etc.

    Family values of youth in modern socio-demographic situation in Russia are considered during the analysis of the works of T. Gurko Gurko, , I. Dementieva Dementieva, , V. Zhukov Zhukov, , D.

    Currently, the attention of scientists is attracted to the problematic issues of premarital preparation and questions of teaching young people constructive family values. However, this direction is still poorly developed; it needs improvement and more serious attitude of the state structures.

    Prospects and recommendations for the preparation of young people for marriage and family life in the aspect of social work areas under conditions of modern socio-demographic situation in Russia are considered in the analysis of works of E. Zritneva Zritneva, , I. Dubrovina Dubrovina, , N. Lagoyda Lagoyda, , S.

    Kovalev Kovalev, , A. Makarenko Makarenko, , D. Isaev Isaev, , and others. In this work, the authors used the results of empirical sociological research for secondary analysis devoted to problems of family values formation of youth in modern socio-demographic situation in Russia.

    These problems were analyzed and described by A. Kryukova Kryukova et al. Ivanenkov Ivanenkov, , L. Popova Popova, , E.

    Zritneva Zritneva, In general, Russian scientists, regardless of the study area and the chosen methodology, note the inconsistency and ambiguity of the process of value dynamics in the youth environment, which is characterized by both positive and negative traits. According to S. Thus, on the one hand, the research topic is highlighted deeply enough in scientific literature this refers to the problem of youth and its values, to the problem of the demographic crisis in Russia and the factors of this phenomenon.

    On the other hand, the issues of family values and orientation of the youth, its demographic behavioral strategies, conditions and factors of their formation and implementation have not received conceptual studies on the sociological level. In addition, the problem of family values and orientations in the context of demographic development of Russian society has not received the conceptual study in a comprehensive way.

    However, the accumulated potential in the sociology and demography of the family, sociology of youth, and sociology of spiritual life is very wide and it is impossible to reach the level of solving the research problem without extensive analysis. The conducted analysis of the degree of scientific elaboration of the research problem allows making a conclusion about the multiplicity of the raised issue; its high degree of inconsistency and ambiguity from the position of both the presented research directions and perspectives of value of youth development, and the functioning of the family institution, a transformation of which generates different variants of implementation of family strategies and styles.

    We should note the significance of the research problem not only for Russia, but also for world practice. Economic and social changes radically affect young people, their values and attitudes, and transform their experience not only in Russia but also in many parts of the world.

    Foreign scientists noted that modern youth faces a wider range of uncertainty and problems than in any previous era Jeffrey and McDowell, In foreign literature, the problem of social uncertainty and confusion of youth is associated: There is a perception that young people seek for life in modern cities — large settlements, administrative by developed, industrial and cultural centers providing a great opportunity of premarital search for young people.

    However, urban life is often related to the difficulties of adapting to not quite favorable socio-economic conditions.

    Many young people today express their values and preferences that are attached to the urban environment, which indicates the existence of an urban ethos of youth, including a certain life style, culture, and hierarchy of values Baeck, The needs in conducting social work with young people are also covered in the foreign scientific works McCullagh, ; Stoesz, In addition, the scientific literature allocates global trends of family that directly affect family values of young people, for example: In the process of transition to adult life, an example of family relationships is of special importance to an individual Myklebust and Solvang, Thus, young people from wealthy families that are continuously married are more committed to family values and less likely to engage in a risky sexual behavior Simons et al.

    Aims of the study: To characterize the problems of youth in modern socio-demographic situation in Russia; 2. To justify the formation of family values of youth in modern socio- demographic situation in Russia, in the light of social work approach; 3.

    To analyze the impact of current socio-demographic situation in Russia on the formation of family values of youth, and the role of social work in this process by the example of Saransk city ; 4.

    To examine the family values of the youth in the conditions of modern socio-demographic situation in Russia, according to the results of a sociological survey by the example of Saransk city ; 5. To highlight the perspectives and recommendations of preparation of youth to marriage and family life, in the aspect of social work areas in the context of modern socio-demographic situation in Russia.

    Basic research tools — questionnaire of the sociological survey developed in accordance with the problem, purpose and aims of the study. The survey questionnaire included 27 questions including ones about the reproductive attitudes of young people, the estimated age of marriage, the motivation for future marriage, and family relations. Important questions were those helping to clarify the topics of pre-marital training of young people, including roles of the family, the state, and qualified specialists; and the degree of young people readiness for fulfilling a number of family roles and functions.

    The chronological scope of the research — January—March The territorial scope of the study — Saransk city. When conducting this research, the authors applied three groups of research methods as methodological framework: The general totality of coverage included the total number of Saransk youth — , thousand people Table no. Table no. According to gender, the respondents were distributed as follows, 85 girls and 59 boys.

    The sample was random. The respondents were students of secondary schools of the Saransk city. Criteria for the respondents selection for a sociological survey: The sample is of a stratified type with steps organization according to the territorial principle. At the last stage of selection, a quota sample was used.

    As quota attributes, we used such categories as gender, age, and territory of residence. Firstly, parent family, social values and socio-demographic situation in the country are the dominant factors affecting the formation of family values of young people.

    For Let us refer to Table no. We should note the factors that influence the future of the family fortune, in the opinion of the youth Figure 4. According to youth attitudes, the variety of social threats in the modern family could be mastered only by communicating and equally sharing the responsibilities between the spouses with respect to both the family budget replenishment and the children upbringing.

    Thirdly, the installation of creative, constructive family values dominates among young people, contributing to the achievement of universal values and those family values, which are considered to be common in this culture: Let us refer to the Table no. Fourthly, the lack of knowledge of young people about family culture gives rise to conflict in family orientations, reflecting the contradictions between knowledge and behaviors. Therefore, there is a demand for attention of specialists to the problem.

    According to the study results, the problematic issues, on which young people have absent or superficial knowledge are as follows: The social survey showed that the procreation of children is included in primary value of youth.

    However, the bulk of respondents focused on one child It should be noted that procreation is not geared to young people with large families. Raising children in an atmosphere of love is not the root cause of creating a family based on legal marriage.

    The distribution of opinions of respondents to the question concerning the motive for childbirth is of particular interest Figure 5. The allocated value orientations of youth in the sphere of family and family relations in the course of the sociological questionnaire are very similar to the values of young people highlighted by several authors in the post-Soviet period Table no.

    In its course, the methodological research matrix of family values and orientations of the Russian youth was tested in the conditions of demographic crisis and the prospects for exit.

    Scientific novelty of research consists in that: This fact was the rationale for the conclusion about the necessity of family culture formation among the Russian youth through premarital training of young people in social work. It is proved that the demographic crisis as a term commonly used in the modern world in relation to the Russian reality has very clear parameters reflected in the key demographic trends related to the process of depopulation. Despite the fact that the pace of fertility decline has halted in recent years, it gave reason for optimism regarding the demographic reality among politicians and public figures.

    Evident c ispita de a v trimite la cele dou volume precedente e mare, dar, la urma urmei, n-ar fi fairplay, dat fiind c aceste capodopere romantice au fost date la topit puin dup succesul lor de stim. Aadar, s facem rezumatul episoadelor anterioare: eram un petrecre nverunat, produs de soi al societii noastre bazate pe luxul inutil. Nscut la 21 septembrie , dup douzeci de ani de la Auschwitz, n prima zi de toamn.

    Am venit pe lume n ziua n care frunzele ncep s cad din copaci, n ziua n care zilele ncep s descreasc. Poate c de aici mi se trage temperamentul posac, mi ctigam existena nirnd cuvinte prin jurnale i pe la ageniile de publicitate acestea din urm prezentnd avantajul de a plti mai scump pentru un numr de cuvinte mai redus.

    M-am fcut cunoscut prin petrecerile pe care le-am organizat la Paris, ntr-un moment cnd, la Paris, nu mai erau petreceri. Asta n-are nimic de-a face cu vorbele i totui n felul sta mi-am fcut un nume, probabil fiindc, n epoca noastr, cei ce nir cuvinte sunt socotii mai puin importani dect oamenii cu poza publicat n paginile destinate evenimentelor nocturne, din unele reviste. Pe cei interesai de biografia mea i-a surprins c m-am cstorit din dragoste, ntr-o zi, am crezut c zresc eternitatea ntr-o privire albastr.

    Eu, care mi duceam viaa alergnd de la o sindrofie la alta i de la o ocupaie la alta, ca s n-am vreme s fiu deprimat, mi-am nchipuit c sunt fericit. Anne, soia mea, era ireal, de o frumusee luminoas, aproape imposibil. Mult prea frumoas pentru a fi fericit, dar asta n-am aflat dect prea trziu. O priveam ore n ir. Uneori, i ddea seama i mi reproa: Nu te mai uita atta la mine, mi striga, m deranjeaz! Urmarea nu strlucete prin originalitate: ca s nu intrm n detalii, s zicem c neam instalat ntr-un apartament prea mic pentru o dragoste att de mare.

    Cert este c ieeam prea des n ora, aa c am fost tri ntr-un vrtej destul de tulbure. Lumea zicea despre noi: tia doi ies foarte des. Da, sracii Ru trebuie s le mai mearg! Oamenii nu greeau n totalitate, chiar dac erau ncntai s aib mcar o dat, la petrecerile lor fsite, o fat drgu. Aa e viaa: cum eti nielu fericit, cum are ea grij s te cheme la ordine.

    Ne-am fost infideli, rnd pe rnd. Ne-am lsat aa cum ne-am luat: fr s tim de ce. Cstoria este o uria mainaie, o escrocherie infernal, o minciun organizat n care ne-am pierdut ca doi copii. De ce? Foarte simplu. Un tnr cere mna femeii pe care o iubete. Lui i ie fundul de fric, e nduiotor, transpir, biguie, iar ea, ea are ochii strlucitori, rde nervos, l pune s repete ntrebarea.

    De ndat ce ea a spus da, pe cap le cade brusc o ntreag list de obligaii: cine i prnzuri n familie, planuri pentru masa festiv, probe pentru rochia de mireas, ciorovieli, interdicia de a rgi sau pri n faa socrilor, stai drept, zmbete, zmbete, e un comar fr sfrit i sta nu-i dect nceputul. Dup aceea o s vedei totul este organizat n aa fel nct s se deteste reciproc. Adevrul este dezamgitor.

    Adevrul este ntotdeauna dezamgitor, de-aia minte toat lumea. Adevrul este fotografia unei alte femei, uitat, din neatenie, n sacul meu de voiaj i gsit la Rio de Janeiro Brazilia , n ajunul Anului Nou.

    Adevrul este c dragostea ncepe cu ap de trandafiri i se termin cu lturi. Anne i cuta peria de cap i s-a pomenit ciufulit de un Polaroid ce nfia o femeie i de cteva scrisori de dragoste care nu erau de la ea.

    Anne mi-a dat papucii pe aeroportul din Rio. Voia s se ntoarc la Paris fr mine. Situaia nu-mi ngduia s-o contrazic. Ea plngea, uluit, cu spaima cuiva care pierduse totul n douzeci de secunde. Era o feti adorabil care descoperea dintrodat c viaa e ngrozitoare i c i se destram cstoria. Nu mai vedea nimic, nu mai exista aeroport, nu mai exista coad, nu mai exista tabel de afiaj, totul dispruse, n afar de mine, clul ei. Ct de ru mi pare astzi c n-am luat-o n brae!

    Dar eram stnjenit de lacrimile care nu i se mai opreau i de toat lumea care se uita la noi. N-am spus nimic care so salveze.

    Ea avea o privire rugtoare, trist, nceoat, plin de ur, abtut, nelinitit, dezamgit, inocent, mndr, dispreuitoare, dar care rmnea totui albastr. N-am s-o uit niciodat: privirea asta descoperea durerea. Va trebui s nv s triesc cu mgria asta pe suflet. Oamenilor le este mil de cei ce sufer, dar nu i de cei ce fac rul.

    Descurc-te, doar eti biat mare, moule. Tu eti cel care i-a nclcat fgduiala. Amintete-i cum a sfrit Adolphe: Marea problem a vieii este durerea pe care o pricinuieti i nici metafizica cea mai ingenioas nu-l justific pe omul care a sfiat inima care l iubete". Dup aceea, am tndlit stingher, cu inima zdrobit, prin Copacabana; am but singur, aa cum nimeni n-a mai fost vreodat douzeci de caipirinhas, simindum ca un rahat, nedrept i monstruos.

    Eram pe cale de a deveni un soi de bolovan rece. Pentru prima oar, dup decenii ntregi, la Rio ploua de Revelion. Pedeaps divin, ngenuncheat pe nisip, asurzit de tobele sambei, m-am pus i eu pe plouat.

    Sunt nopi n care s dormi este un lux. S dormi ca s te poi trezi din acest vis urt. Ai vrea s faci tabula rasa cu viaa ta. Pentru c, atunci cnd faci pe cineva s sufere, cel mai distrus eti tu nsui. Da, este adevrat, mi amintesc foarte bine noaptea n care am ncetat s dorm. Un milion de brazilieni mbrcai n alb, sub ploaia care cdea pe plaj.

    Foc de artificii uria n fa la Meridian. Trebuia s arunci n valuri flori albe i s-i pui n gnd o dorin pe care divinitile aveau s-o mplineasc n cursul anului.

    Am azvrlit un buchet n ap, dorind din toate puterile ca lucrurile s se aranjeze. Dar nu tiu ce so fi ntmplat: ori florile mele au fost nasoale, ori zeii erau lips la apel. Ce fel de spurc-ciuni am ajuns, dac ne putem nchipui c este vorba de un act fr nicio gravitate? Anne a crezut n mine. Mi-a ncredinat viaa ei, n faa lui Dumnezeu i chiar mai impresionant n faa Republicii Franceze. Am semnat un pact prin care i fgduiam s-i port ntotdeauna de grij i s cresc copiii pe care urma s-i avem.

    Am escrocat-o. Ea e cea care a cerut divorul: pentru a restabili echilibrul lucrurilor, aa era i drept, de vreme ce n cstorie o cerusem eu. Nu vom avea copii; cu att mai bine pentru ei. Sunt un trdtor i un la, ceea ce ar fi fost prea mult pentru un tat de familie.

    M declar vinovat, pentru a nceta s m nvinovesc. De ce nu vine nimeni la divoruri? La cununie eram nconjurat de toi amicii. Dar n ziua divorului sunt incredibil de singur. Nu tu martori, nu tu domnioare de onoare, nu tu familie, nu tu frtai matolii care s m bat pe spate.

    Nici tu flori, nici tu coroane, n lipsa orezului, mi-ar fi plcut s arunce cu ceva n mine, ce tiu eu, cu roii flecite, de exemplu. La ieirea din Palatul de Justiie, genul sta de proiectile este totui moned curent.

    Unde sunt oare toi cei apropiai, care se ndopau cu fursecuri la nunta mea, iar acum m boicoteaz, dei ar trebui s fie invers s te nsori ntotdeauna singur i s divorezi cu sprijinul tuturor prietenilor? Se pare c unii pastori anglicani organizeaz ceremonii religioase de divor a l'amiable1, unde cei ce s-au desprit sunt binecuvntai, iar verighetele sunt restituite solemn oficiantului.

    Printe, v napoiez acest inel ca semn al csniciei mele care a luat sfrit". Consider c e o chestie fain. Papa ar trebui s ia n studiu problema: asta ar aduce lumea iar n biserici i, pe urm, vnzarea verighetelor ar aduce mai multe ctiguri dect cheta, nu?

    Trebuie s aprofundez ideea, mi spun n timp ce judectorul ncearc s obin o conciliere. Ne ntreab, pe Anne i pe mine, dac suntem siguri c vrem s divorm. Ne vorbete de parc am fi copii de patru ani. Dar, dup aia, m gndesc mai bine i mi dau seama c ne-a ghicit de minune: are dreptate, suntem nite copii de patru ani.

    Divorul este o dezvirginare mental, n lipsa unui rzboi cum scrie la carte", aa cum am merita, dezastrele de acest gen alturi de moartea mamei sau a tatlui, de paralizia de dup un accident de main, de pierderea apartamentului, n urma unei concedieri abuzive sunt singurele evenimente care ne fac s devenim brbai.

    Dar dac m maturizasem n urma adulterului? La divor, facem pe indiferenii, dar, curnd dup aceea, vine clipa ngrozitoare, cnd nelegem c am trecut de la Frumoasa din pdurea adormit" la Nu vom mbtrni unul lng altul".

    Adio amintiri ncnttoare, va trebui s renunm la poreclele adorabile pe care ni le puneam, s ardem pozele din voiajul de nunt, s nchidem aparatul de radio cnd vom auzi un cntec pe care l fredonam mpreun. Fraze ca, de exemplu: Cu ce s m mbrac? De fiecare dat cnd vom asista, pe aeroport, la revederea unora, lacrimi inexplicabile ne vor umple ochii. Pn i Cntarea Cntrilor va deveni o tortur: Frumoi se vd obrajii ti, aezai ntre cercei, i gtul tu mpodobit cu ire de mrgritare Sora mea, mireasa mea, tu mi-ai robit inima numai cu o privire a ta i cu colanu-i de la sn".

    De acum, nu ne vom mai ntlni dect n prezena unei avocate zmbitoare, care culmea culmilor! Ne vom pupa ca doi vechi prieteni. Vom merge s bem o cafea mpreun, de parc Pmntul nu s-ar fi prbuit cu cteva clipe n urm. Vom plvrgi pe un ton glume i, apoi, cnd ne vom despri, cu un aer de parc nu s-ar fi ntmplat nimic, va fi pentru totdeauna.

    La revedere" va fi ultima minciun. Iat cum se petrec lucrurile: ai 20 de ani, te prosteti i tu puin, i, pn s te dumireti, ai i fcut Trebuie s te hotrti s ai cu zece ani mai mult dect acum zece ani i cu zece kile mai mult dect anul trecut.

    Ci ani i mai rmn? Sperana medie de via i mai acord nc 42, dac eti brbat, i 50, dac eti femeie. Dar ea nu pune la socoteal bolile, prul care i cade, scleroza, petele de pe mini. Nimeni nu-i pune aceste ntrebri: Oare ne-am bucurat suficient de via? Am fi putut tri altfel? Suntem la locul potrivit, cu persoana potrivit? Ce ne propune aceast lume? De la natere i pn la moarte, vieile ne sunt puse pe pilot automat i, ca s le deviem cursul, ne trebuie un curaj supraomenesc.

    La 20 de ani, credeam c tiu totul despre via. La 30 de ani, am aflat c nu tiam nimic. Tocmai petrecusem zece ani nvnd tot ceea ce trebuia s uit dup aceea. Totul era din cale afar de perfect.

    Trebuie s te fereti de perechile ideale: prea le place s fie frumoase; se silesc s zmbeasc, ca i cum ar promova un nou film la Festivalul de la Cannes.

    Necazul cu mariajul din dragoste e c demareaz la un nivel prea nalt. Singurul lucru uimitor care se poate ntmpla ntr-o cstorie din dragoste este un cataclism. Altfel, ce vrei? S-a zis cu viaa. Eti deja n Paradis, nainte de a fi avut rgazul s trieti. Va trebui s rmi pn la moarte n acelai film perfect, cu acelai casting impecabil. Aa ceva e imposibil de trit. Cnd ai totul prea devreme, ajungi s speri un dezastru care s te elibereze.


    O catastrof care s-i ia piatra de pe inim. Am avut nevoie de mult timp ca s neleg c m nsura-sem pentru ceilali, c mariajul nu e un lucru pe care l faci pentru tine nsui. Te nsori ca s-i sci prietenii sau ca s-i mulumeti prinii, deseori ambele, uneori viceversa, n ziua de azi, nou nuni fioase din zece nu sunt dect nite pai obligatorii, nite ceremonii mondene la care fac invitaii nite prini de pe vremea lui Pazvante. Uneori, n cazuri deosebit de grave, socrii verific dac ginerele figureaz n anuarul monden Bottin, cntresc inelul de logodn ca s vad cte carate are i insist s publice reportajul de la nunt n Puncte de Vedere Imagini din Lume.

    Dar astea sunt cazurile cu adevrat extreme. Te cstoreti exact aa cum te prezini la examenul de bacalaureat sau la cel pentru permisul de conducere: mereu aceeai form n care trebuie s fii turnat ca s fii considerat normal, normal, NORMAL cu orice pre.

    Fiindc nu poi fi mai presus dect toi ceilali, atunci trebuie s fii ca toi ceilali, de fric s nu rmi mai prejos. De altfel, cstoria nu este doar un model impus de educaia burghez: ea face totodat obiectul unei colosale splri de creier publicitare, cinematografice, jurnalistice i chiar literare, o imens intoxicare care le mpinge, pn la urm, pe ncnttoarele demoazele s-i doreasc un inel pe deget i o rochie alb, pe care dac n-ar fi fost toat chestia asta -nici nu le-ar fi visat vreodat. La Marea Dragoste, cu tot ce are bun i ru n ea, vezi bine c s-ar gndi, altfel de ce s mai triasc?

    Dar la Cstorie, Instituia-care-face-dragos-tea-de-rahat, ghiuleaua amorului silnic i a mpreunrii pe via" Maupassant , niciodat, ntr-o lume perfect, fetele de douzeci de ani n-ar fi niciodat atrase de o invenie att de artificial. Ele ar visa sinceritate, pasiune, absolut, nu un tip n smoching nchiriat. L-ar atepta pe Brbatul care ar ti s le uimeasc n fiecare zi lsat de Dumnezeu, nu pe Brbatul care le va oferi etajere Ikea.

    Ar lsa Natura adictelea dorina s-i mplineasc menirea. Din pcate, mmiica lor frustrat le dorete o nefericire identic, iar ele au vzut prea multe te-lenovele. Aa c l ateapt pe Ft-Frumos, acest concept publicitar debil, care fabric tipe dezamgite, viitoare fete btrne, acrituri n cutarea absolutului, n timp ce un singur brbat imperfect le-ar putea face fericite.

    Bineneles c burghezii vor jura c asemenea scheme nu mai au trecere, c moravurile s-au schimbat, dar credei-o pe o victim obidit: niciodat n-a fost mai violent opresiunea, ca n epoca noastr de fals libertate. Totalitarismul conjugal continu, n fiecare zi, s perpetueze nefericirea din generaie n generaie.

    Suntem dui cu preul, n virtutea unor principii factice i uzate, cu scopul nemrturisit de a reproduce la nesfrit o motenire de durere i ipocrizie. Sportul preferat al vechilor familii franceze rmne distrugerea vieilor; i se pricep, nu glum. Au antrenament. Da, se poate scrie, chiar i n ziua de azi: familii, v ursc.

    V ursc cu att mai tare, cu ct m-am rzvrtit mult prea trziu, n sinea mea, eram de-a dreptul mulumit. Eram un n-tntol, urma al unor boiernai bearnezi, mndru ca un pun c o luam pe Anne, aristocaa de porelan. Am fost nesocotit, ngmfat, naiv i prost. De-aia, pltesc cash. Am meritat nfrngerea asta. Eram convins, ca toat lumea, ca i voi, cei care m citii, c excepia confirm regula.

    Pe mine, nefericirea m-ar ocoli, evident; noi ne-am strecura printre picturi. De eec n-au parte dect ceilali, ntr-o bun zi, dragostea s-a dus, iar eu m-am deteptat tresrind. Pn atunci, m cznisem s fac pe soul fericit. Dar m mineam de prea mult vreme pe mine nsumi, pentru ca s nu ncep s mai mint i pe altcineva.

    Majoritatea speciilor animale sunt poligame. Ct despre extratereti, nici s nu mai vorbim: conform Cartei Galactice X23, monogamia a fost interzis, de mult vreme, pe toate planetele de tip B Oamenii se cstoresc aa cum se duc la MacDo.

    Dup care, zapeaz1. Cum ai vrea s rmn toat viaa cu aceeai persoan, n societatea zappingului generalizat? De ce ar fi cruat sentimentul dragostei de schizofrenia general?

    Cstoria este ca i cum ai mnca la toate mesele caviar: o indigestie cauzat de fptura adorat pn la ngreoare. Hai, mai ia puin, da? Nu mai poi?

    Totui, cu puin timp n urm, i se prea delicios, ce te-a apucat? Fir-ai tu s fii de puti afurisit! Un cercettor american tocmai a demonstrat c infidelitatea este biologic. Dup acest savant renumit, infidelitatea este o strategie genetic menit s favorizeze supravieuirea speciei. V imaginai o scen casnic: Iubita mea, nu te-am nelat de plcere: era pentru supravieuirea speciei, i dai seama? Poate c pe tine te las rece, dar trebuie s se ocupe cineva de supravieuirea speciei!

    Dac i nchipui c m amuz chestia asta! A schimba canalul la televizor. Nu o s m satur n veci: cnd mi place o fat, vreau s m ndrgostesc de ea; cnd sunt ndrgostit de ea, vreau s-o srut; cnd o srut, vreau s m culc cu ea; cnd m culc cu ea, vreau s trim mpreun ntr-un apartament mobilat; cnd trim mpreun ntr-un apartament mobilat, vreau s m nsor cu ea; dup ce m nsor cu ea, ntlnesc o alt fat care mi place.

    Brbatul este un animal nesatisfcut, care ezit ntre mai multe frustrri. Dac femeile ar fi mechere, l-ar refuza, ca s alerge dup ele toat viaa. Eti la fel de fericit s te ntorci acas pentru a regsi aceeai persoan care te ateapt? Cnd i zici te iubesc", crezi ntotdeauna chestia asta? Va veni n mod fatal un moment n care te vei czni s-o faci. La mine, declicul a fost chestia cu rasul.

    M rdeam n fiecare sear, ca s n-o nep pe Anne noaptea, cnd o srutam. Credeam c nu e ceva grav, c ea n-o s-i dea seama. De fapt, asta nsemna c n-o mai iubeam.

    Cnd divorezi, cumperi ntotdeauna Desprirea de Dan Franck. Prima scen este emoionant: n timpul unei reprezentaii de teatru, brbatul i d seama c soia nu-l mai iubete, pentru c i trage mna din a lui. El ncearc s i-o apuce din nou, ns ea o trage iar.

    Eu mi spuneam: ce scrb! De ce atta cruzime? Totui, nu e marea cu sarea s-i lai mna n mna lui brbat-tu, ce dracu'! Pn n ziua n care mi s-a ntmplat acelai lucru. Am nceput s resping mereu mna lui Anne. Ea m lua cu drglenie de mn sau de bra ori i lsa mna pe coapsa mea, cnd ne uitam la televizor, iar eu ce vedeam? O mn moale, albicioas, de consistena unei mnui Mappa. M nfioram de dezgust. Parc ar fi pus pe mine o caracati. M simeam vinovat: cum, Doamne iart-m, ajunsesem pn aici?

    M transformasem n scrba aia din cartea lui Dan Franck. Ea insista s-i amestece degetele cu ale mele. Eu m sileam, fr succes, s-mi stpnesc o strmbtur. M ridicam cu o sritur, chipurile ca s m duc s m uurez, dar n realitate numai ca s fug de aceast mn.

    Apoi m ntorceam, cuprins de remucri, i priveam mna pe care o iubisem. Mna ei, pe care i-o cerusem n faa lui Dumnezeu. Mna ei, pentru care, cu trei ani n urm, mi-a fi dat viaa s-o pot ine aa. Dragostea ia sfrit atunci cnd nu te mai poi ntoarce napoi. Aa i dai seama: apa a curs pe sub poduri2, nenelegerea domnete; v-ai desprit fr ca mcar s observai. De ce faci mutra asta? Se vede c treaba asta i-a fcut efectul: tipul a ters-o. Ca urmare, peste tot, pe unde apar, servesc replica asta.

    Cum m ntreab cineva de ce sunt trist, cum i-o trntesc, pe nepus mas: Pentru c dragostea dureaz trei ani. Gsesc c e o chestie de un ic nebun. Cu timpul, mi-am zis c poate ar fi bun ca titlu de carte.

    Dragostea dureaz trei ani. Mrturisete c, n sinea ta, tii prea bine c este adevrat, chiar dac eti cstorit de patruzeci de ani. Vezi prea bine la ce ai renunat; n ce moment ai abdicat. Ziua fatidic n care ai ncetat s te mai temi. Nu e plcut s nelegi c dragostea dureaz trei ani; este ca o scamatorie ratat sau ca ritul detepttorului n toiul unui vis erotic. Dar trebuie s spulberi minciuna despre dragostea etern, baza societii noastre, fauritoarea nenorocirii oamenilor.

    Dup trei ani, un cuplu trebuie s se despart, s se sinucid ori s fac copii, astea sunt cele trei moduri de a-i confirma sfritul. Ni se spune deseori c, dup o vreme, pasiunea se transform n altceva", mai puternic i mai frumos.

    C acest altceva" este Dragostea cu D" mare, un sentiment, cu siguran, mai puin excitant, dar, totodat, mai puin imatur. A vrea s fiu foarte clar: acest altceva" m calc pe nervi i, dac asta e Dragostea, atunci le-o las puturoilor, descurajailor, oamenilor copi" care se blcesc n confortul lor sentimental, n ceea ce m privete, dragostea are un d" mic, dar elanuri mari; nu dureaz ea prea mult, dar, cel puin cnd este aici, se simte.

    Altceva-ui" la al lor, n care ar vrea ei s transforme dragostea, pare a fi o teorie inventat pentru mica lor satisfacie, pentru a se autoliniti trmbind c altceva mai bun nu exist. Sfrit de petrecere apocaliptic. Trebuie s termin odat cu nodul sta din stomac. Pe la cinci dimineaa, i telefonez lui Adeline H. Am numrul ei de acas. Rspunde chiar ea: Alo? Cine e la telefon? Am trezit-o din somn. De ce n-o fi pus robotul?

    Nu tiu ce s-i spun. Scuz-m c te-am sculat Stnd jos, nemicat, cu capul n mini, ovi ntre cutia cu Lexomil i treang: de ce nu amndou? N-am funie, dar mai multe cravate Paul Smith, legate una de alta, ar fi numai bune. Note: i Flirting with disaster engl.

    Cochetnd cu dezastrul. Croitorii englezi aleg ntotdeauna materiale foarte rezistente. Am fcut bine c am nchiriat un apartament cu grinzi aparente. Este de-ajuns s te urci pe scaunul sta de aici, uite aa, pe urm s bei un pahar de Coca-Cola care conine anxioliticele pisate. Dup care, i treci capul prin la i, din momentul n care adormi, nu te mai trezeti. Dragul de tine. Vrei s le placi tuturor fetelor drgue, dar un simplu divor te deprim, ar fi trebuit s te gndeti nainte la chestia asta.

    Acum, nu mai am dect durerea, care s-mi in tovrie. Ce pierdere de timp: s vrei s te omori, cnd eti deja mort.

    BALZAC, Honore de - Femeia de 30 Ani SC - [PDF Document]

    Deschizi un ochi, apoi pe cellalt; durerea de east e dubl: din cauza mahmurelii, dar i a unui uria cucui n faz de dezvoltare accelerat, n mijlocul frunii.

    Este dup-amiaz i te simi ct se poate de caraghios, cu cravatele nclcite n jurul gtului, lungit pe jos, lng un scaun rsturnat i cu o femeie de serviciu n picioare. Am dormit mult? Sinucigaii sunt nite oameni cu adevrat insuportabili, Anne mi-a redat libertatea i uite c eu i port pic.

    Am suferit c eram nchis, acum sufr c sunt liber. Carevas-zic, asta nseamn viaa de adult: s construieti castele de nisip, dup care s le calci n picioare i s repei operaia iar i iar, cnd tii prea bine c oceanul le-ar fi drmat oricum?

    Am pleoapele grele ca noaptea care se las. Anul sta am mbtrnit mult. Dup ce tii c eti btrn? Dup faptul c ai nevoie de trei zile ca s-i revii dup o but ca asta. Dup faptul c ratezi toate sinuciderile. Dup faptul c eti urcios cnd i ntlneti pe alii mai tineri. Entuziasmul lor te enerveaz, iluziile lor te obosesc. Eti btrn cnd i-ai spus, cu o zi nainte, unei domnioare nscute n '76? Nemaiavnd unghii de ros, m hotrsc s ies la cin. Note: Muleta sp. Lui Anne i mie nimeni n-o s ne poat lua asta: am crezut cu toat sinceritatea n dragoste.

    Ne-am avntat cu capul nainte ntr-o muleta1 de beton armat. Nu rdei. Nimeni nu rde de Don Quijote, dei ataca morile de vnt ca un smucit cu clie ce era. Mult vreme, singurul meu scop n via era s m autodistrug. Apoi, dintr-odat, mi-a venit cheful s fiu fericit. E groaznic, mi-e ruine, iertai-m: ntr-o zi, m-a ncercat vulgara ispit a fericirii. Dar, dup aceea, am aflat c asta era cea mai bun cale de a m distruge, n fond, fr s-o fac dinadins, sunt un biat coerent.

    Nu tiu de ce oi fi acceptat atunci s iau cina la Jean-Geor-ges. Pentru c mie nu mi-e niciodat foame, ntotdeauna mi-am fcut un titlu de onoare din a atepta smi fie foame pentru ca s mnnc.

    Aa este elegant: s mnnci cnd i-e foame, s bei cnd i-e sete, s regulezi cnd i se scoal. Dar, bine, n-o s atept pn mor de inaniie ca s m ntlnesc cu frtaii. Probabil c Jean-Georges iar o fi invitat nelipsita gac de icnii sublimi, prietenii mei cei mai buni. Niciunul n-o s vorbeasc despre problemele lui, pentru c fiecare tie c ceilali au tot attea.

    O s schimbe subiectul ca s amgeasc disperarea. Acas la Jean-Georges este doar el singur. Vrea s m asculte. M ia de guler i m zglie de parc a fi automatul unei parcri, care nu nregistreaz data i ora pe tichet, dup ce a nghiit moneda de zece mangoi. Asear te-am ntrebat de ce aveai mutra aia de un cot i mi-ai rspuns c dragostea dureaz trei ani. Pi, bine, tu m iei la mito sau ce naiba?

    Te trezeti n cruliile alea ale tale? Aa c, acum, gata cu tmpeniile, ai de gnd s vorbeti sau ce mama dracului? Altfel, eu la ce-oi mai fi bun? M prefac c sunt rcit, ca s m pot smiorci. Bigui: A Cine e?

    O cunosc? Carevaszic, Marc i Alice s-au cstorit acum trei ani. Necazul e c nu s-au cstorit unul cu cellalt. Marc s-a nsurat cu Anne, iar Alice s-a mritat cu Antoine Aa e viaa: are grij s complice ntotdeauna lucrurile - ori noi suntem ia care caut complicaiile? Poza lui Alice e aia pe care a descoperit-o Anne la Rio. Un ncnttor Polaroid cu Alice n bikini, pe o plaj italieneasc de lng Roma. La Fregene, ca s fiu mai precis. Alice i cu mine am avut o legtur extraconjugal". Aa sunt numite, n zilele noastre, cele mai frumoase pasiuni romantice.

    Oamenii mor de dragoste, n fiecare zi, pentru legturi ex-traconjugale". Deseori, v ntlnii pe strad cu femei care nu v impresioneaz prin nimic, pentru c i ascund n strfundul lor secretele; ns, uneori, le vei vedea plngnd fr niciun rost, n faa unui serial de doi bani, sau schind un surs magnific, n metrou, i atunci o s v dai seama ce vreau s spun.

    Adesea, situaia este neechilibrat: o femeie celibatar iubete un brbat nsurat, iar el nu vrea s-i lase nevasta; e ceva ngrozitor, abject, banal, n ceea ce ne privete, cnd ne-am ntlnit, eram cstorii i unul, i cellalt.

    Numai c, de data asta, eu am fost primul care a cedat: eu divorez, n timp ce Alice n-are nici cea mai vag intenie. De ce i-ar prsi brbatul pentru un icnit care strig n dreapta i n stnga c dragostea dureaz trei ani? Ar trebui s-i spun c nu cred cu adevrat chestia asta, dar a mini. Iar eu m-am sturat s mint. M-am sturat de viaa mea dubl. Poligamia este pe deplin legal n Frana: e de-ajuns s fii nzestrat cu darul de a mini. Nu-i nicio greutate s ai mai multe femei. Ai nevoie doar de puin imaginaie i de mult organizare.

    Cunosc o droaie de tipi care au un adevrat harem, chiar n Frana, chiar n Pentru ca s faci aa ceva, trebuie s fii diplomat i ipocrit, ceea ce este cam acelai lucru. Dar mie mi-e lehamite. Nu mai pot. Mi-e de-ajuns c sunt schizofrenic n viaa profesional, refuz s fiu aa ceva i n viaa sentimental. Cred c ar fi frumos ca, mcar o dat, s nu fac dect un singur lucru n acelai timp. Rezultatul: sunt din nou singur.

    Dragostea este o catastrof magnific: s tii c te ndrepi cu toat viteza spre un zid i totui s accelerezi; s alergi ctre pierzanie, cu zmbetul pe buze; s atepi, plin de curiozitate, clipa cnd se va alege praful de toate. Dragostea este singura decepie programat, singura nenorocire previzibil, pe care o vrei mereu i mereu. Asta i-am spus lui Alice, nainte de-a o ruga zadarnic n genunchi s plece cu mine. Dragostea cea mai puternic este cea nemprtit.

    A fi preferat s nu tiu, dar asta e realitatea: nimic nu e mai ru dect s iubeti pe cineva care nu te iubete i, n acelai timp, este cel mai frumos lucru care mi s-a ntmplat vreodat. S iubeti pe cineva care te iubete este narcisism. S iubeti pe cineva care nu te iubete, asta da, e dragoste. Cutam o ncercare, o experien, o ntlnire cu mine nsumi care s m poat transforma: din pcate, dorina mi-a fost ndeplinit dincolo de ateptri.

    Iubesc o fat care nu m iubete i nu o mai iubesc pe cea care m iubete. M folosesc de femei pentru ca s m detest pe mine nsumi. Fan-Chiang a ntrebat: Ce este dragostea? Maestrul a spus: S pui mai mult pre pe efort dect pe recompens, asta este dragostea.

    Cum a aflat Alice c m-a lsat nevasta, cum s-a speriat i a dat napoi. Sunt ca o amrt de amantcrampon care ateapt ca tipul ei nsurat s-i aduc aminte de curiorul ei. Eu, cel cruia nu-i plceau dect bulevardele largi, iat-m n back street"1. O singur ntrebare m scie nencetat i mi rezum ntreaga existen: ce e mai ru, s faci dragoste fr s iubeti sau s iubeti fr s faci dragoste? Am impresia c sunt ca Milou, cnd este apucat de crizele de contiin, avnd ntro parte ngeraul, care i spune s fac lucruri bune, i n cealalt mini-demonul, care l ndeamn s fac rele.

    Eu am un ngera care vrea s m ntorc la nevasta mea i un drcuor care mi sugereaz s m culc cu Alice, n capul meu este un permanent talk-show, n direct, la care iau parte ei doi. A fi preferat ca dracul smi porunceasc s-o regulez pe nevast-mea.

    Intrarea lui Alice n scen m-a surprins de parc una dintre cele trei Dame nosrime1 ar fi aterizat pe platoul lui Helene i bieii2. Ca s-o descriu pe Alice, n-am s-o iau pe ocolite: este un stru. Ca i aceast pasre alergtoare, este nalt, slbatic i se ascunde cum simte o primejdie. Interminabilele ei picioare suple n numr de dou suport un bust senzual, dotat cu fructe arogante n acelai numr. Pletele lungi, negre i drepte ncununeaz un chip pe care dei este blnd citeti vioiciunea.

    Trupul lui Alice pare s fi fost conceput exclusiv pentru a destabiliza brbaii cumini i cstorii, care nu voiau nimic sau care nu voiau altceva de la ea. Asta este singura deosebire dintre ea i stru pe lng aceea c Alice nu face ou de un kil.

    Note: Back street engl. Parafraz dup pelicula Droles de Drame Marcel Carne, A rulat i n Romnia. Familia este o chestie penibil chiar i cnd e a ta, darmite cnd e a soului De altfel, eu fusesem cel care susinuse c, de bun seam, din locul n care se afla acum, Mama Mare n-o s-i observe absena.

    Nu tiu, pesemne simeam c avea s mi se ntmple ceva. Toat biserica era cu ochii pe bunicul, s vad dac o s plng. Dar avea el, popa, un pil: a evocat cei cincizeci de ani de csnicie ai lui Tata Mare cu Mama Mare. Ochii bunicului meu totui colonel n retragere s-au nroit. Cnd i-a curs prima lacrim, parc ar fi dat semnalul de pornire. Toat familia a deschis robinetele, s-a pus pe suspinat, s-a adunat roat, privind la sicriu.

    Nu putea s-mi intre n cap c Mama Mare era nuntru. A trebuit s moar ca s-mi dau seama ct de tare ineam la ea. Fir-ar s fie! Cnd nu-i prseam eu pe cei pe care i iubeam, mureau ei. M-am pus, fr nicio reinere, pe plns, cci sunt biat sensibil. Cnd mi s-au limpezit ochii, am zrit o brunet frumoas, care m observa. Alice m vzuse dnd ap la oareci. Nu tiu dac a fost de vin emoia sau prezena ei ce contrasta cu locul, dar am simit o puternic atracie pentru aceast misterioas apariie n pulover negru, mulat pe trup.

    Mai trziu, Alice mi-a mrturisit c i se pruse c sunt foarte frumos: s punem aceast eroare de apreciere pe seama instinctului ei matern. Esenialul e c atracia era reciproc, simea nevoia s m consoleze, era clar. Aceast ntlnire m-a nvat c cel mai bun lucru pe care l poi face la o nmormntare este s te ndrgosteti.

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